Acton Institute Powerblog

Isn’t the Cold War Over?

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I’ve got an idea for a new sitcom. Titled, Hugo and Vladi, it details the zany adventures of two world leaders, one of whom (played by David Hyde Pierce) struggles to upkeep his image of a friendly, modern European diplomat while his goofball brother-in-law (played by George Lopez) keeps screwing it up for him by spouting off vitriolic Soviet rhetoric and threatening all of Western civilization with his agressive (but loveable) arms sales and seizures of private oil companies. It is sure to be Must See TV.

Here’s my treatment for the pilot episode, (quoting liberally from the inspirational piece):

Russia signed a ਱.6bn arms deal with President Hugo Chávez of Venezuela today, risking a confrontation with the US, which has imposed an arms embargo on the South American country…

In an attempt to soften the blow of such deals for Washington, Mr Putin said that cooperation between Moscow and Caracas “is not directed against other states”, but added: “Russia will be a secure partner for Venezuela.”…

Mr Chávez again launched a vitriolic attack on the United States. “After almost 200 years, we can say that the United States was designed to fill the entire world with poverty as if in the name of freedom,” he said according to Interfax….

“The United States’ empire is the greatest threat which exists in the world today. This is a senseless, blind and dumb giant, which does not know the world, does not know human rights, and does not know anything about humanity, culture, conscience, or consciousness.”…

He added that during a recent visit to Belarus, Russia’s neighbour whose leader was dubbed Europe’s last dictator by Washington, he had seen a monument to Lenin. The leftwing leader said: “He will always be in our heart and our ideas.”…

To add to the hilarity, Pierce’s character will repeat at least twice in every episode his trademark line: “Oh Hugo, you’re incorrigible!” [Insert laugh track]

Directors of Development from television studios: feel free to contact me at my Acton email.

David Michael Phelps