Posts tagged with: surrogacy

are you my motherNovember 20 was established as Universal Children’s Day in 1954 by the United Nations. The UN has imagined this as a day of building fraternity between children and raising awareness for children’s welfare.

If we really care about children’s welfare, we need to stop pretending. We need to stop pretending that it’s not in the best interest of children to have a mom and a dad who are married and live together.  We need to stop pretending that children are not being daily abused in our own communities via human trafficking. We need to stop pretending that children are things we get because we want them, not human beings who are completely dependent on mature adults to help create the best environment for them. Purposefully and brazenly conceiving children apart from their biological parents is not in the best interest of children, no matter what we adults want. (more…)

babies for sale“How am I supposed to get a baby?”

There are many people who cannot get pregnant and have a child. Some are infertile. Some are single and have no one that wishes to parent with them. Gay couples cannot naturally have children. So how are these folks supposed to get the baby that they want?

This is the question Alana S. Newman was faced with while speaking at the Bonds that Matter conference. It’s not the first time Newman has dealt with the idea that children are possessions to be had, and that relationships are irrelevant. A child’s needs are irrelevant also.

Newman is herself the product of donor insemination. She never knew her father, but did know a succession of men that she was supposed to accept as her father. (more…)

baby-flag2The Obama administration has created a policy wherein foreigners who purchase a baby via an American surrogate will be able to claim U.S. citizenship for the child. According to the Daily Caller:

The fertility clinics will be able to pocket the profits, after granting access to American education, health, welfare and retirement services to the foreign children and the foreign parents.

The giveaway is accomplished by a surprise change in regulations, which redefined the term “mother” to include women who contract to carry other women’s embryos to birth.

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parents-fighting-over-child1I’ll say it again: surrogacy is a bad idea. It’s bad for the child, it’s bad for women, it’s bad for families. Even when everything goes “well,” it’s still a situation where a woman has been used for rental of her womb for 9 months. Using a fellow human being’s body because you want something is wrong, even if you pay them.

Tennessee’s state Supreme Court is trying to untangle a knotted mess of surrogacy nonsense – which is made all the more horrible because this isn’t simply a point of law: it’s about a baby. Here are the not-so-simple facts:

Unmarried Italian citizens—”L.G.” the “intended mother,” and “A.T.” the “intended father,” paid more than $73,000 to pay for “expenses” and “pain and suffering” to “J.J.E.,” the surrogate. She agreed to be artificially inseminated with A.T.’s sperm, to gestate any babies conceived, and then surrender the child and her parental rights to the intended parents. In other words, the baby would be the biological child of the intended father and the surrogate mother. In Tennessee such contracts are called “traditional surrogacy,” in contrast to circumstances in which the surrogate mother is not biologically related to the baby to which she gives birth, which is known as a “gestational surrogacy.” (more…)

HeForShe graphic

HeForShe graphic

Emma Watson, the lovely British actress best known for her role as Hermione in the Harry Potter movies, is now a Goodwill ambassador for the United Nations. The program she is touting is called HeForShe (yes, I know that sounds like a support group for transgendered folk, but that’s beside the point.) It is, according to the website, a “solidarity movement for gender equality.” Basically, they want men (the “He”) to start supporting women’s (the “She”) equality.

There are certainly many places in the world where women face incredible challenges. Far too many women and girls lack basic access to voting, education, the free ability to travel on their own and to own property. These injustices clearly need to be addressed.

Today marks the 34th anniversary of China’s horrific one-child policy. It is hard to think of any other single policy that has claimed the lives of so many women, both born and unborn, and affected a nation in such a detrimental way. According to Women’s Rights Without Frontiers the Chinese government:

The One Child Policy causes more violence against women and girls than any other official policy on earth.

The One Child Policy is China’s war on women.   Any discussion of women’s rights, or human rights, would be a charade if forced abortion in China is not front and center.

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Gammy and her mother

Gammy and her mother

We now live in a world where a child is a commodity. It is an item to be coveted, sought out, assembled and purchased. Found a partner? Check. Got the house? Check. Career going well? Yup. Let’s get a child to complete the package. And like the rest of our lives, we want only the very best. And of course, we have a right to the very best our money can buy.

Does this sound futuristic or dystopian? Tell that to baby Gammy, the little girl who was ordered and purchased (via a surrogate in Thailand) by an Australian couple. The Thai mother became pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. Gammy, the little girl, has Downs Syndrome. The couple who purchased her also abandoned her in Thailand. They took her brother back to Australia; he had no abnormalities to contend with. (more…)

baby-budgetI’m sure Willie Nelson was not thinking about surrogacy issues when he wrote “If You’ve Got The Money, Honey,” but it’s applicable. $100,000? Check. 9 months? Check.

If you’ve got the money honey I’ve got the time
We’ll go honky tonkin’ and we’ll have a time
We’ll have more fun baby all way down the line
If you’ve got the money honey I’ve got the time

While surrogacy is a huge industry in India, it’s becoming a growing business here in the U.S. now. In Austin, Texas, one couple from New Jersey awaits the birth of their children via a surrogate:

A nurse spread gel on Nicole Benham’s pregnant belly and slowly moved a sonogram wand over it, describing the images on nearby monitors. This scene, in which parents get an early glimpse of baby, is played out many times a day in medical offices across America, but this plot has a twist.

Benham is carrying twins, but they are not her babies. They belong to Sheila and Kevin McWilliams, a New Jersey couple who lost their firstborn and can’t have another child together. They provided the eggs and sperm, and they will bear all costs, which average $75,000 to $100,000 and include fees to the surrogate, the matchmaking surrogacy company and lawyers for both parties, experts said.

Despite such costs, U.S. surrogate births have jumped 250 percent in eight years, and experts expect them to continue rising because of advances in reproductive technology, increasing numbers of same-sex marriages and growing acceptance of surrogacy.

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ethics surrogacy2India has a huge and still-growing medical tourism industry. A $2 billion part of this industry is the surrogacy business. India has few laws regulating surrogacy, and it is a popular place for people from the U.S. and the EU to head to for a baby. But the lack of regulations also means very little help, support and care for the women producing these children. The women literally become cogs in a giant machine. If one cog breaks, it’s simply replaced with another.

Sushma Pandey was a 17 year old scrap worker in 2010. She was lured into the surrogacy industry to produce eggs via hyperstimulation, which causes the woman to over-produce eggs via chemical inducement. She donated eggs three times in 18 months, and then she died.

The Mumbai High Court asked the police to investigate the role of the hospital, but so far no one has been held responsible. Pandey is India’s first known case of death from egg harvesting; she suffered “brain hemorrhage and pulmonary hemorrhages due to ovarian hyper stimulation,” according to news reports quoting her autopsy results.

For each session she had earned a little over $400.

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barcodebaby_mainJessica is a professional: a language teacher and a surrogate. She’s rented out her womb several times, as a way to help mainly gay couples have children. She says being pregnant is rather easy for her, but even she has some issues with the process.

[Jessica] had a less positive experience with a third set of New Yorkers seeking her services. She signed a nondisclosure agreement, which prevents her from naming the couple, and will only say they are “well-known,” “mega rich” and working in the entertainment industry. They were due to pay her a fee which was significantly higher than the amount she received the first time she was a surrogate.

“I really tried to bond with them, but it just wasn’t there,” she says. “It was like a business transaction. After a while, I started calling myself a commodity.”

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pacifierAlana Newman knows the pain caused by the fertility industry. She is a donor-conceived child (via sperm donation) and an egg donor. Newman is also the founder of AnonymousUs.org, which focuses on shedding light on the fertility industry.

Newman has written “Creating A Marketplace of Children: A Donor-Conceived Woman Explains the Harms of Third-Party Reproduction,” in which she shares the questions she had as a child about her own conception, and the painful reality of egg donation. She explains that one reason she chose to donate her own eggs when she was 20 years old was that it was “open:” the child conceived via her eggs could contact her in the future is he/she so wished. Of course, that “openness” only went one way; the woman donating her eggs would never be able to anything more than whether a boy or girl had been conceived via her “donation.”

Of course, Newman admits, the money was a big draw as well. She responded to a Craigslist (Craigslist!) ad:

Because I was young, and without any other marketable skills, the $8,000 advertised by the fertility clinic made selling my eggs outrageously more attractive than other job options. I believed that if I sold my eggs as an open ID donor, I would improve the system and make the world a better place. I also envisioned what I could do with that kind of money—record an album or visit Europe. It seemed like a needle-length journey to a whole new social class.

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