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Worth a Reflective Chuckle (or Two)

Jordan J. Ballor


Posted by Jordan J. Ballor
on Monday, January 26, 2009

Government is most surely a divinely-ordained reality, and a blessing that we must celebrate. But governments realize their task when they recognize their own divinely-ordained limits.

Government exists as a form of common grace to preserve the world for Christ’s coming, when the government as an order of preservation will give way to a divine monarchy (”Every knee will bow.”). In the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the government is here to keep “open” the orders of the world for Christ.

But when government oversteps this mandate, it tyrannizes the other orders of preservation and undermines the basis for its own existence. It then becomes a force for destruction as much as for preservation.

In addition to strident debate and firm resolution in public affairs, satire is a powerful tool in calling the government to heed its limits. It is in this spirit that the following two items are offered.

First, “The Heaviest Element Known to Science.”

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

And second,


As Bonhoeffer wrote in his 1933 essay, “The Church and the Jewish Question,” a basic task of the church is to “continually ask the state whether its action can be justified as legitimate action of the state, i.e. as action which leads to law and order, and not to lawlessness and disorder.” In so doing, the church shows itself to be the state’s “most faithful servant.”

After all, pointing out the excesses, sins, and errors of another can be the most sublime act of love.

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Responses:

  • Thanks for the chuckle:)

    Karen
    January 27, 2009
    11:48 am

  • Great article, Ironically most government workers feel they are “peons” under “moron” higharchy.

    Tracy
    February 1, 2009
    9:39 pm

  • Tracy, maybe that bit is just governmental bureaucratic managerial propaganda. It does seem like they’re ought to be more peons than morons, but then again maybe that’s just why everything is so dysfunctional. Too many queen bees and not enough drones, so to speak.

    Jordan
    February 2, 2009
    9:16 am

  • 1.  Just wondering if other states are doing this, but Alaska is looking to divest Alaskan money in Sudan in response to Darfur.  All states should look at taking stands against genocide similar to this (if they haven’t already).  (HT: Conserv…

    Caffeinated Thoughts
    February 2, 2009
    12:44 pm

  • Jordon: Your right. I certainly like that heaver thinker such Acton can pull a strident debate satire to really think about how the goverment process works.

    Tracy
    February 3, 2009
    2:01 pm

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